THE COUNSELOR'S CORNER: 2022--We begin again

2021 was difficult. Each New Year we say Happy New Year. We wish goodness for each other. We hope for more success. We cherish more peace. We want happiness to fill our lives. Words of hope fill the new media and TV programs. No matter the pain of the past, the hope for a better future rises within us.

The future will only change if I embrace the present moment openly. To begin again is to live fully in this present moment. When I do this, I become very focused. Each moment of life is a gift to experience life in a meaningful manner. It is a simple thought that is ignored. To live fully in this moment brings wisdom. Inner peace results from the embrace of the present moment.

People who become aware and conscious of the present moment walk reflectively through life. I am always amazed by the holy people throughout the centuries. They seem to have found a sense of peace that nothing interrupts. Love and compassion seem to have poured out of them to whomever was in their presence.

New Years is simply another opportunity to become fully alive. The hope that is proclaimed each New Year only happens to individuals who live totally in the present moment. There is great relief in realizing this. I cannot control what is going to happen tomorrow. I cannot invest energy in worrying about how other people should be different. It becomes useless to spend time wishing the world will be different. But if I embrace this present moment, I experience an inner freedom within myself that gives me an experience of profound meaning and depth. I now realize the importance of silence and meditation. I acquire energy to look into this present moment in a healthy manner. In this present moment I see goodness. I see love. I see courage and strength. I see positive energy and determination. I see pain and joy and how people deal with this successfully. I see how people can run from what they must face and I can have compassion for them. What I don't have to embrace is anger and frustration because that blocks me from a genuine and positive experience of this moment.

There is so much depth in this moment. The embrace of this moment gives me the wisdom of how to deal positively with other people. The embrace of this moment brings me into a connection with a very big, loving God. The embrace of this moment gets me out of obsessing over things and helps me to experience life positively.

Life can not be based on having only good things happen to me. Life can never be based on how much money I have or how other people will treat me. Life can only be based on how I embrace this moment and what might come my way, positive or negative, joyful or painful.

Each day and each moment are a new beginning. Every moment of life is a new moment to be embraced and to be experienced. Each New Year becomes a reminder to me that it is in only in this present moment that I become fully alive.

As painful as 2021 has been in dealing with the Corona Virus and experiencing isolation and being sheltered in, I have discovered that the embrace of this pandemic has helped me gain insight and appreciation of what to do with quiet time. There are many aspects of life that I cannot control. But what I can control is how well I embrace and experience this moment.

Life is so very short. Everyone is born. Everyone dies. What becomes meaningful is feeling loved and giving love. There is no tension in being loving towards everyone. There is no tension in experiencing this moment fully. There is no tension in allowing myself to experience God. In the embrace of this sacred moment, I experience a depth and a peace that becomes soul enriching.

In this New Year of 2022, I realize that there is only one thing necessary for me to become fully alive: Slow down and embrace and experience this present moment. Every day is a new beginning. Every moment is a new experience of depth, love and wisdom. The secret of life is to learn how to go deeper into the present moment.
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Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage & family therapist and limited licensed psychologist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center. He conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Michigan. Cavaiani is associate editor and contributing writer for Human Development Magazine. His column in the Legal News runs every other Tuesday. He can be reached at 248-362-3340. His e-mail address is: Fredcavi@yahoo.com and his website is FredsCounselorsCorner.com.