THE COUNSELOR'S CORNER: Don't rush

Last Saturday I drove our eight-year granddaughter to her soccer game. We talked about how God is present in each moment in everything and in everyone. She said to me, "That is so consoling, Grandpa, to know that God is all around us." She is filled with wisdom and to be in her presence is a peaceful and joyful experience. But to experience her love and wisdom I must slow down and listen carefully.

Then as I walked into the indoor soccer field, I was looking for a chair. Now I must admit that I looked a bit older than most of the people there especially when I have my cane with me. A man said to me so kindly, "Here is a chair next to me. Sit here." I thanked him for his kindness and he said to me: "and if there would have been no chair here, I would have given you my chair."

I was so inspired. What a kind and caring man. I chatted with him throughout the game. His son was playing soccer on the field next to my granddaughter's field. It made me realize again that Love is all around us but I need to stay gently in the present moment to realize this. After the game was over, I said to my granddaughter that we could stop and get a donut. She said to me that she would like to do that but could we get a donut for her three sisters also and she enumerated what type of donut each of them would like. So, we got a bag of donuts for her and her three sisters, our older granddaughters, from 16 to 10, to enjoy when we got to their home. Yes, Love is in the air. It was important for me to slow down and listen carefully to the love my granddaughter was expressing about her three older sisters.

To discover love and experience love, I must not rush to the next moment. There is a sacred presence in each moment of life. But I must slow down to experience this Sacred Presence. Every moment of life is meant for me to have a mountaintop experience of God.

If you have ever been to an art exhibit, you will notice some people just sitting, mesmerized by a painting they are gazing at intently. This person is immersed in the present moment. This immersion in the painting becomes inspiring and relaxing. Life has slowed down for this person as she or he absorbs the painting.

Life is meant to be an absorption into the Divine in each moment. If I am rushing and waiting to get to the next moment or obsessing over a past moment, I miss the depth and peace of the present moment.

When I focus on this present moment, life slows down. When I let go of worrying about the past, I slow down. When I realize that I cannot control the future, I slow down.

Sometimes I regret that I haven't learned some of these principles of life years ago. That concern becomes a violation of remaining in the present moment. The beauty of life is that life will always get deeper in this present moment, no matter what might be happening. Life is always meant to be an encounter with the Divine at this very moment.

When I simply live in this moment, my awareness of God becomes deeper. My willingness to be loving becomes stronger. My ability to let go of anger and internal condemnations of others becomes easier. As I sit typing this article, I can observe the snow outside. I am aware of our little dog, Daisy, sitting by my side. I become aware of the importance of showing love and kindness to whomever calls or texts me.

Another benefit of not rushing to the next moment is Thankfulness. The more I focus and embrace the present moment the more my heart opens up to being grateful for what I see and for whom I see. The reward of practicing DON'T RUSH becomes an awareness of how to be appreciative and thankful. The paradox is that this sense of gratitude simply surfaces as I very slowly become aware of this present moment.

And another meaningful benefit of not rushing to the next moment becomes an awareness of myself and the attitudes that hinder me and imprison me from experiencing and living life in a loving and positive manner. But these will disappear if I allow them to surface because in this present moment when they surface, I can see the uselessness of hanging on to negative attitudes. It becomes easier to let something go when I am gently and slowly embracing this present moment.

When I live in this moment, I again realize that I do not need to invest in how other people should change or how the world should change. I simply need to invest in how I can be receptive to the Sacred Presence of God in this moment and how I can be a more loving and kinder person. When I stop rushing through life, I find peace. When I just focus on this moment, I begin to realize that "only in God is my soul at rest." Life is not meant for me to be on a campaign to change others. But life is meant for me to be on a present moment campaign of loving others. The two important principles of my life in this present moment are: Becoming receptive and aware of God in this moment and reaching out in love toward everyone who enters my thoughts or my presence.

The words, DON'T RUSH, are so important to remember at this very moment.
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Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage & family therapist and limited licensed psychologist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center. He conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Michigan. Cavaiani is associate editor and contributing writer for Human Development Magazine. His column in the Legal News runs every other Tuesday. He can be reached at 248-362-3340. His e-mail address is: Fredcavi@yahoo.com and his website is FredsCounselorsCorner.com.