Objective truth can be elusive. Some people can live their whole life convinced that their perspective on life is an absolute truth that everyone else should accept. Quite often a perspective on life is simply a perception which may not have any basis in objective truth. Political parties quickly want to convince people that their perceptions and perspective should be considered truth by everyone. And if you do not share their blind faith that their perspective is absolute truth, then there must be something seriously wrong with you. Religious denominations have great investments in proclaiming that their perceptions are accurate and that their perspective on life should be considered by everyone to be an absolute truth.
A perception is how I interpret and understand someone or something. It is the meaning I assign to any given stimulus. A perspective is my point of view or my lens in how I see people, places or things and how I view myself, other people and everything around me.
One of the greatest difficulties on this planet is to condemn or judge others who perceive things differently that we do. I want others to accept my perception of life as accurate. And then I want to demand that my perspective of God, people, places and things must of course be the absolute truth.
The beauty of emotional connections with other people is a humble sharing of my perspectives and perceptions. This humble sharing allows a compassionate attitude toward other people which doesn't have to shout down their perceptions or perspective. I do not have to share that how I believe in God must be how you must believe in God. I do not have to convince you how you must think spiritually, religiously or politically. There is such an inner freedom that surfaces inside of me when I cease to try and convince you that my perceptions must be absolute truth for you and everyone else.
The realization that perceptions and perspectives are personal and I can share with others how my perceptions and perspective on anything does not have to be the same for you can lead to a positive connection with other people. When I don't have to invest in convincing you that how I think must be how you should think, I will discover an inner peace.
My journey through life becomes more joyful and peaceful when I acept that how I perceive things does not have to be your perspective or your viewpoint.
I was watching a politician give his viewpoint on certain issues on television over the weekend. He did this with such grace and humility that I had to challenge my own negative perceptions about him. He wasn't condemning others but simply and humbly giving his perceptions about issues. It helped me have a more objective perspective because this man's viewpoint wasn't condemning others but simply a humble sharing of what he thought and felt.
Objective truth becomes very blocked when a person insists that their perspective is the absolute truth. When I act in a very authoritative manner about my perceptions, I will block myself from a positive and loving dialogue with other people. I will refuse to understand your perspective because of my internal insistence that my viewpoint is the only correct perspective.
It is not healthy, in my opinion, to walk through life with a judgmental attitude about other people. My perceptions will not be a proclamation of absolute truth and I must realize this. But if my perspective and perception help me to be a better person, emotionally and spiritually, I can share that with others. But if I share with others that they must treat my perceptions as absolute truth, then both of us will become obstacles to personal growth, both emotionally and spiritually.
I need to walk through life with a humble perspective and a humble perception. Then everyone gets chance to go deeper in life into a more loving connection with positive thoughts, attitudes, viewpoints and with other people.
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Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage & family therapist and limited licensed psychologist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center. He conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Michigan. Cavaiani is associate editor and contributing writer for Human Development Magazine. His column in the Legal News runs every other Tuesday. He can be reached at 248-362-3340. His e-mail address is: Fredcavi@yahoo.com and his website is FredsCounselorsCorner.com.
